Sunday, April 29, 2018

Marienlyst Open 2018



Have just returned from day two of the Marienlyst Open, which all in all has to be considered a great success, as well as the start of a new chapter in my life and swimming career. Yesterday went well, with a 2:54 in the 200 medley and a 36.17 in the 50 breast, my fastest long course time ever. I was hoping to go 1:18 today and win my heat but I got second with a 1:20.47, three tenths slower than when I swam the same event at the same meet in 2014.

Everything felt right leading up to the race – I got there early, warmed up with the other swimmers in the big pool, got dressed into street clothes, ate the right energy foods at the right times, and even listened to ‘Killing in the Name of’ to psych me up. As soon as my heiagjeng appeared I rushed down to the pool to swim my race, which I truly believed I was going to win.

I dove in, had the longest pull-out, touched first at the turn and didn’t see anyone near me in the second 50. When I touched the wall I thought I had won in a 1:18 and lifted my fist in the air, but then I realized that was the guy in lane 3 who I couldn’t see. My mood immediately darkened and I was disappointed with myself, but Sunniva and Johannes were ecstatic. Afterwards Sunniva said “Daddy won,” which Johannes repeated faintly but audibly (so cute!). This is why I am swimming – it is no longer for me, but for them. I want them to have a parent who is an active athlete and can show them how much fun it can be to push one’s mind and body to the limit.

As my friend Nick put it, ironically: “Oh, dammit, you’re slower than you were when you were four years younger and didn’t have Cancer!” Everyone laughed, and that is the feeling I wish to take with me from this meet. It was my first time in my Master’s career doing three events over two days, and I’m still only three months removed from my final round of chemo; two and a half from my last seizure. So although I’m still a bit disappointed about the time, I am more determined than ever to do what it takes to be faster this summer and even faster at the Norwegian Master’s Champs in Bergen in March.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

The First Seizure: One-Year Anniversary


Today is the one-year anniversary of my first seizure; the day that changed our lives forever. I don’t remember much of that morning, except what I’ve been told: Anette woke up downstairs, heard that the house was a bit too quiet and came upstairs to find me on the couch with my pants around my ankles (I had already dressed for work and had just gone to the bathroom). At first she thought I had just fainted, but then came a primal roar from the depths of my being and I started shaking and foaming at the mouth. That’s when she called the ambulance and started to freak out (in a controlled way).

I do remember the EMTs waking me up on the couch and saying, “Alexander, du har hatt et epileptisk anfall,” to which I could only mumble back, because speech is affected in the immediate aftermath of a seizure. I remember being carried down our stairs in a chair and being able to give a wave and a weak smile to my family.

Apparently when I got to the hospital I had a second seizure, which I have no recollection of, although when Anette finally arrived she told me what had happened. In the meantime, her brother and Elise dropped everything and sped from Oslo to Drammen to be with the kids that day, and her mom started driving over from Haugesund.

It was a Tuesday, and I had been scheduled to swim the 100 breast in the Marienlyst Open that Sunday. Today is a Wednesday and I am signed up for the meet again, this time the 200 IM and 50 breast on Saturday (Nick will drive and film me) and then the 100 on Sunday (everybody will come to cheer me on). Hopefully I will go fast, but the truth is that the times don’t matter at all.

Swimming matters because it’s been my lifeline throughout this most difficult of years, it’s made me feel alive when returning from radiation at the cancer hospital, when my hair fell out, and when I’ve had bouts of sadness. I’ve been swimming 105 times since June 13, which is an average of about every third day. It’s helped me to stay positive, and the meet in Orlando this summer has been a big motivator. Reuniting with the Fab 4 and swimming our relay one more time was definitely on my bucket list, and now I’ll be able to make that happen - on our nine-year wedding anniversary, no less.

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The house and gardens are now clean, organized and ready for Nick and Nicole to arrive in about three hours. We chose not to drive to the airport to get them for this very reason: to give ourselves another day alone to prepare ourselves mentally and the house practically for their visit. Anette is walking along the river with a colleague who has worked with her new boss, whom she will meet for the first time at their meeting with NAV on May 3. Hopefully she will get some insight as to why he’s been sending such strange, unfeeling emails. 

Meanwhile I’ve been at home cleaning windows, floors and the upstairs bathroom to make sure that our friends will be comfortable. It’s also given me more time to reflect on how important this day, and this visit, is.

Nick is one of my very best friends from childhood, and having known a series of his girlfriends throughout high school, college and young adulthood, I first met Nicole in California in 2005 (at a restaurant in Oakland, I think). I was immediately struck by her physical resemblance to his mother, and Anette and I were charmed over the next two years and both thought that she could be “the one.” Nick and Nicole went through a couple of turbulent years in California with cheating on both sides, break-ups and finally a commitment to each other and a move to Seattle to stake out their new lives together, where they managed Ravish, a fancy restaurant with an appropriate name for their love, together. In August of 2011 I flew out to Seattle for their wedding, mementos of which we have decorating various places around our house. 

Almost seven years later they are coming to Norway for the second time. Everyone from our wedding in 2009 remembers them as Mickey and Minnie Mouse (Kathrine’s nickname for them) and now we’re very excited for them to see our situation in Drammen.